Friday, November 11, 2005

of art and dating...

tonight is art night except that i am the only one who is doing roommate and friend are both looking for men i think trying to filling their need for male attention. i am sitting here painting out all of my anger and frustration with men, school, and my inner battle. after having three encounters with men who have hurt me in the last day, i just don't feel like i possess the art of communication with men, so instead i pour everything i have into this picture, into the sky. the sky in my painting is 'dark and ominous'. there are brief pockets of light but over all the darkness is invading. i wonder if this is the darkness hope shattered brings or the darkness which is being uncovered through the work we are doing at mars hill graduate school. looking at my sky i wonder how i will every see a bright sunrise on one of my canvases instead of the gathering storms. when will i see hope as something beautiful and not the weapon of torture. i feel as if hope has been the cross where my heart has been martyred. so art night is going well then? yes, it really isn't as bad as i have just made it sound there is something wonderfully cathartic about painting out your emotions instead of the usual bitchfest. i don't hate men after painting or at least not most of the time. (she smurks). well i better get back to my sky.

1 comment:

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