"my arms miss you, my hands miss you,
the stars sing, i've got their song in my head...
say it: i wish we were naked and i wish that
i could take it when you turn me on."
~ultimatum by the long winters
i want to be held. i have wanted this for a long time. to be held, kissed, to have someone to sleep next to and come home to. yet i am asked to sit in this and told that God is enough. but God isn't enough. i from my biblical studies i know that God wasn't enough for adam. it wasn't enough just to have a intimate relationship with God he needed a companion, a human, a lover. hence eve. so if it isn't enough then why am i told that it should be?
my heart and body have known this desire for a lover for so long. it is like an icicle cutting deep, it is freezing and burning numbing and on fire all at once. i am to wise to jump into the instant gratification of the false and momentary interchange. so my desire rises and my aching need screams out. where is a good man? one who i can trust and rest in. when can my desire not be smashed by the shoe which is alway waiting to drop. i want to risk wildly and not be left stripped and bare.
can i trust that a good exciting deep beautiful man can see beyond the wall of friendship that encircles me?