it was my last day of practicum. what a sweet and hard day. i don't think i can really process it that much right now, except to say that inspite of all the frustration and failure i have felt over these last few months in regard to it has become part of the kindness and honor it has been. i feel so grateful for all the incredible people who i walked with in this. and that they called me to places which i could not have even seen. it is such a mind blowing thought that they are dreaming and holding a promise of the woman i will become even as i am holding the same care for them. three of these image bearer's called theatre out for me, which is totally God because i have been thinking of abandoning that dream all weekend.
and then in my last individule practicum i was given so much that my heart is overwhelmed. yet these two words are haunting me(in that good way) winsome and guileless. they are so deeply searing to my heart. when she(my facilitator) gave them i found my self thinking of catherine of aragon the first wife of henry the eighth. one of my favorite monologues is from shakespeare's henry the eighth. it is catherine in her beauty, strength and royal tenderness speaking to the court. i love the depth of layers in it. it is that image of queen that those two words recall for me.
"Lord cardinal,To you I speak.
Sir,I am about to weep; but, thinking that We are a queen, or long have dream'd so, certain The daughter of a king, my drops of tears I'll turn to sparks of fire.
I will(be patient), when you are humble; nay, before,
Or God will punish me. I do believe,Induced by potent circumstances, that
You are mine enemy, and make my challenge You shall not be my judge: for it is you
Have blown this coal betwixt my lord and me; Which God's dew quench! Therefore I say again, I utterly abhor, yea, from my soul Refuse you for my judge; whom, yet once more,I hold my most malicious foe, and think not At all a friend to truth.
My lord, my lord, I am a simple woman, much too weak To oppose your cunning. You're meek and humble-mouth'd; You sign your place and calling, in full seeming, With meekness and humility; but your heart Is cramm'd with arrogancy, spleen, and pride.
You have, by fortune and his highness' favours, Gone slightly o'er low steps and now are mounted Where powers are your retainers, and your words, Domestics to you, serve your will as't please Yourself pronounce their office. I must tell you,You tender more your person's honour than Your high profession spiritual: that again
I do refuse you for my judge; and here, Before you all, appeal unto the pope,
To bring my whole cause 'fore his holiness, And to be judged by him."
isn't it great!!!