Friday, December 30, 2005

love songs, wanting and...rum

i have been listening to some of the older ani difranco ablums tonight, the lyrics are really hitting the mark. for instance "i like you so much i talk to everyone but you" i feel crazy tonight emotions, thoughts and desires boiling and churning. this is what i dislike wanting, hoping, waiting and praying that someone will finally see me, the one that hides away. not my friends for they see her but a good man who can call her out and then love her instead of leaving her stripped bare.

i am in a battle locked in with logic against my imagination the great weaver of tales. logic says wait, trust, listen and don't be reckless. the story teller says it will work this is good or any man you like will always want to be with someone else is at this moment fucking someone else. my imagination drives me wild; pictures, thoughts, and scenarios running rampid though my mind. i want to be numb for a while, stop feeling so much. so i think maybe i should have a shot of whiskey and then a shot of rum and after that a cigarette?

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