Sunday, January 01, 2006

how the hell...

i am watching 'a thin red line' and i had to stop and write. anything about war and the destruction of life bothers me, yet this is hitting harder and deeper than usual(which is deep enough). maybe it is the fact that not only is it a visually beautiful film but it also has such hard things to say. yet it speaks even of horror and hardness in a place of beauty. in this beauty the characters become more human and personable, more like you so the horror becomes more personable. malick doen't try to shock you but allows you to enter into the story in a touching and human way. it was alot like watching peter wier's film 'fearless' which while it deals with a horrific event displays it in a way that touches you and is kind.

i find my self racked with sobs welling up from the obscurest crevases of my soul. how can God allow for this destruction, how can we? what shift is possible in the heart of man that she can kill and harm another. that we can relish in the suffering and pain of another?

what sin has created and bread in this beautiful thing that God intended? how can horror live in places of such beauty? how can we destroy creation with such violence?

war is desrtuctive.

what about love? what happens to a man who is driven by love when that love is lost?(this is one of the outstanding questions for me from the film) ben chaplin's character is driven to live because of his love for his wife and then it is taken away. i could not accept this part of the story, it cheapend love. and in that cheapening it destroyed a man...a good man destroyed by love makes my heart hurt.

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