I am reading Intimate Allies for class, this book is all about marriage and what it means to be married. There is plenty of good, valuble, and important things (even for us unmarried folk). I can see the ramifications of past relationships in this book and what I have done to contribute to the failure of those relationships. One passage really hit me in the fact with how much I have tried to fit into being the perfect woman for those men and how in that I am not being my self and thought that I have objectified and deified that person. It is like walking on egg shells which brings harm to both parties because neither can be the person they are called to be. In this God is robbed of glory because we are playing false selves instead of trusting the true self he has created.
Marriage is hard and yet beautiful it can be a revelation of God. I want a marraige like that my heart has known that kind of marraige for a long time. One of my deepest desires is to be with a man who is encougaging and inspiring. Someone who can fight well with me for the glory of God. I have some big dreams and they require a partner who dreams large as well a kind and gentle warrior who is willing to be brave with me.
I have been given the vision of my self as a stong, guileless, truthful, gracious, regal woman. In this book I find that kind of strength and beauty honored and up held.
Dan's class really isn't torture in fact it is one that I am really looking forward to. It is hard to sit in waiting although I think the more that I surrender it the more I am at peace with where I am at.