Thursday, March 16, 2006

mystery in the face of a child


rocking a child to sleep is one of the most beautiful, sweet, and tender things in the world. emmie, the baby i nanny for, has been sick all week. she was starting to feel better today but still is pretty yucky. everytime she breathes in it sounds like she is purring because she is so congested. so cute.

it took me two and a half hours and three tries before i finally got the sick tired girl to fall asleep this afternoon. i think she was so excited about feeling a little bit better, that she just kept fighting her body, which made her even more sick. any way the last time i tried to put her down i decided that i was just going to hold her so that at least she could get some rest (she kept freeking out when i left the upstairs area or her room).

so i took her into the spare bedroom, wraped up in a blanket and rocked her back and forth while sitting on the bed. looking down through her soft black curls on to her angel face as her eyes fluttered like wings in their slow closing, was the best moment of my day. there is something so breath-taking and spiritual about holding a child as they rest their head on your chest. in moments like these i know why i want to be a mother, why God is mother as well as father and why i miss my mom, the way she was, so much.

i hope that i can trust God to hold me when i am crying, tired, and fighting rest just as em let me wonder in her today.

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