Thursday, March 30, 2006

our house...



i think we have found the house. i with six friends, five of them mars hillians, are planning to live in community. this is something that is both exciting and scary. ever since the summer after i graduated from high school nine years ago i have wanted to live in a mixed gender community. i have lived in several "houses" having at least four roommates(more if you include boyfriends). each time i have hoped and dreamed of having men living there too, each time it is only women. now all this to say i have nothing against my gender but as we are studying genesis and gender i find that i desire the different view of men. when you have three or more women in a house and there is no male presence things can easily go south. for as relational as women are we also more emotional and take things personally. little things build and create great strife. maybe it was just the people i lived with. yet i have noticed when you have a mix of men and women there seems to be a shifting, there is less tension and relations seem to be more balenced. i guess i'll find out. the group of people we have is great and all pretty easy going which is good. but i am afraid, what if we all end up hating each other? i love my friends i don't want to loose them. what if i can't live well with them? what if i get on their nerves? what if we all end up hating each other? what if someone i love now ends up driving me crazy? what if all my insecurities are greater because of living there? what if they find out who i really am and don't like me any more? what if i get stuck caring for the dog?

there are so many questions that i don't have answers to yet i find that for the most part my heart is calm and excited. this might help me be a better person, help me to know and love my friends better. we will see. isn't that the beauty and horror of community that you jump in with both feet and then work it out from there.

2 comments:

Liz Easterling said...

Jessi,

Your questions are good. Questions that I have myself. I believe that it will be hard. Not simply harder. Hard, because it is different than anything we have experienced before. Remember who we are trying to be...

Emily said...

fun exciting scary times moving in with friends. . . I'm praying that you get that house and we can be neighbors!. . also, you guys have a dog?? aww. .i wish we had a dog . ..