Sunday, November 05, 2006

who do you trust...?

yesterday i asked someone close to me a question "whether or not they thought i would be a good therapist?" this question came from statements made during several encounters this week. when i asked the question i was just trying to get feed back. instead i got something else a critique of my decisions and choices. in the return responce i felt attacked and violated, instead of recieving the responce i requested for a innocent thinking query i was given a listing of what i needed to better and my own (percieved) failure in the eyes of this person.

what bothered me was that the person i asked is someone who's opinion matters alot to me. yet in a conversation with someone who knows both of us well, the person i was talking with helped me to see better why i had gotten this response and where it came from. in hearing another view i was able to see the whole picture better.

i wonder should we immediately go to places of mistrust when we feel wounded by another or is there a need to evaluate the situation and then decide. i find more and more that one can only trust if they are aware that by trusting they place themselves in a space where they may be harmed. this is the risk of trust that we always run the risk of being hurt. we must always ask ourselves what is it we want? relationship and risk which will bring both goodness and pain or safety without true relationship.

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