Thursday, December 21, 2006
i am leaving to go home tomorrow afternoon. all week there has been this tug in my heart a longing for home. yet as i begin to think about going home i wonder if my desire to be there will be crushed by the experience of being there.
last night i asked my self and marie if i am just restless by nature. nothing truly capturing my heart long enough to really move me forward. i know that i love the people in my life a lot but beyond that i often wonder if there is anything that i am so drawn into that i cannot escape. you know how some are captivated by india or music or a lover? there is this thing that just pulls them no matter where they try to go. i feel like even with the things and people i have chosen to risk for i have been burned. often i find it hard to believe that i am really drawn by anything like that, sticking to the inaine idea that i am the one to create everything. that being true i just feel exausted and tired unable to move forward.
i hope that i can love well with my family and friends this weekend, inspite or because of my crooked little heart.
Posted by jessi knippel at 6:28 PM