it is offically 2007, ten years since i graduated from high school and five years since i graduated from undergraduate school. i suddenly feel old. funny, how over the course of those years i have both changed drastically and stayed the same. i still feel like the insecure wallflower most of the time, although with less nerotic tendancies. here i am at 27 not at all where i pictured my self being ten years ago. so much has changed in my life since then, two year after graduating i basically lost both of my parents. for the last eight years i have been left to raise my self (with the help of my wonderful aunt and friends). never would i have thought of that happening. ten years ago i am sure i figured by 27 i would have my shit together, job, relationship, life. i have very little of those things figured out. but i am more content in my unknowing, in my faith, in my self.
i have spent several hours today doing what has become a pretty consistant practice, job hunting. i am not sure if it is seattle, me, or the job market but i have yet to find something that pays enough to live on really since i graduated from college. it is pretty depressing when i think about the fact that i have two undergraduate degrees and am working on possibly two graduate degrees and i still cannot find a job that pays more than $10 and hour. maybe it is all prepairation for something...if so God i am ready. life is so weird isn't it? we end up (at least i and those around me) in the most unexpected places. often looking back wondering how the hell did i get here? maybe this next year will be one where the question doesn't change but the intonation does. happy new year!