Saturday, August 25, 2007

i don't understand...

have been thinking a lot about sex and relationships. why are we so obsessed? last night two friend were talking about how seattle unlike other places isn't obsessed with getting married...just getting laid.

which gets me to thinking, neither sex nor marriage just for themselves is worth the cost. in either side of the extreme the marriage or the sex becomes an end result instead of a way of connecting to another person. in either form it becomes using another body/spirit/what have you to get off. when both are good (at least from what i know having not experienced either but having read many books and had many conversations) it is less about you and the end result and more about the other person you are involved and bound to. as i think about this and think about the relational desires and physical needs we have and how they play out i feel very lost.

i don't know what to think or how even to begin to look at all of this. as i sit on the sidelines of both sex and relationships, becoming a "wise on looker" i wonder if all i have to say is bullshit? it is like honestly what really can a monk speak to about sexual elements of relationship? i feel akin to the man who can't understand what it is to feel oppressed as a woman in the church, the different being that maybe someday my perspective will change.

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