Everything in my now that I have finished school just wants to jump strait into theatre again full time. Yet I have to wait...there are things that need to get in order for that to happen. This waiting time is like being in the pit of dispare I can't seem to get out of it. The weather the waiting it all feels like slow means of torture. Sitting watching films and tv shows that are incredibly well made that speak of the beauty God created and placed in the hearts of people is amazing and I want so badly to be a part of it. To tell great stories to speak of redemption and restoration and beauty. Yet I am stuck in a hole battling demons and voices and it is snowing and cold and all i want is out.
I find my self asking and begging and crying out to God to show up and it feels like more is taken and yet I must keep asking and begging and hoping that my God will enter into this and work good into my pain and frustration.