Friday, May 01, 2009

where do fit?


over the course of the last eight months i have been trying to figure out what is next where to go what to do now that i have spent three years working on a master's degree. at first i tried to get a second but that didn't happen (although i still might apply again), then i just wanted to find something i could do that was enjoyable that would pay the bills. somewhere in limbo of that idea is where i rest right now yet i have to wonder if that doesn't happen. if i don't get this job what then? how will i get out? how do i get out and where do i fit?

many of my prayers recently, well beside the basics of "don't let my car break" "please let me have enough money to pay my bills", have been about what is next and where i should go, what i have to offer the world. i have huge hopes and dreams but they feel about as worthless as my three worthless degrees. i just don't know what it is that i am created for. so many people have said that i am a leader, translator, teacher, artist, pastor, what have you but i have no idea where i am or where those things come together to become something.

it will become clear and the pieces will come together but right now that is hard to believe.

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