Tuesday, June 09, 2009

when i grow up i want to be....

perfectly comfortable in my self and my own skin...true yet i also want to have a "real" job. tonight i had a final meeting with a professor for an early education class that i was taking. several times through out our ten minute conversation she referenced how she thought i would have no problem finding a job(yeah right) and how she thought that i should become a professor of some kind...while waiting for the meeting i was chatting with two different students from this class and they both said the same thing that they could see me as a professor. it was kind of cute one of the other students essentially said that she thought i was "too smart" to be teaching children (i actually think that some of the best early education teachers are incredibly smart and creative and that it is not a waste).

now i am not writing all of this to brag or boast, especially since i know so many people who are so much smarter than i, but rather because i have been thinking a lot about what i want to be when i grow up and where my skills lay. many people have offered their perspective of what i would be good at or what i could do with my life. after hearing that i have two undergraduate degree and a master's and that i want to get another degree many have responded with phrases like "you sure do like school." (not true just like learning and thinking about specific things) or "with that much education you should just become a professor then they will pay you to go to school". while i was in my graduate program many people encourage me to continue as an artist, an advocate, and at times a pastor. i have battle with my own desire to be an actress and work in film and theatre as well as teach.

in the spirit of trying to be open, healthy, and growing i realize that my own image of what being an artist/teacher/whatever may be very different than how it will play out in my life. what i am beginning to see is that to be any and all of these things starts with me being myself (i do listen margee it just takes a while for it to saturate). and this is what i plan on doing here in seattle until i am told and doors open to go on. well at least that is what the good bold part of me says the other side shouts that by now i should have had my ducks in a row and quacking. yet here i sit very broke, in seattle, unsure of where i will be working in the next two weeks and where i will be living in the next two months and trusting that as i learn to live and be myself that everything else will fall into place. and someday i will find out what i became when i grew up and i am sure i will be very surprised by what it all became.

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