Saturday, March 27, 2010

Reverance (NFTD #11)

Two days ago I received "Telling Secrets" a memoir by Fredrick Beuchner. As I was journaling about what I had read last night in this book I began to think about what it was that I liked about his writing and other writers of his generation. Through the reflection I realized that it was their passion for God, their honesty with themselves and their willingness to be open while still remaining orthodox. I began to see a strength and wisdom that is wrapped in gentleness that is lacking in some of the more contemporary authors who I love. While both Donald Miller and Anne Lamott both have and continue to offer me much through their honest thoughts and experiences of faith I find that they both lack this quality that I imbibe while reading the likes of Beuchner, L'Engle, Lewis or Dillard. Some how the latter seem to be more regal and unassuming, maybe it is just the shear nature of growing up in a different period of time where for good of ill there were standards of decorum unlike today. Maybe it is that Beuchner and the rest didn't not come of age and young adulthood during the time of the Christian Right where politics and religion, specifically fundamental politics and Christianity were so narrowly and tightly connected. Yet what ever the reason I am aware that there is a major difference that leaves me wanting a faith like Beuchner or L'Engle in lue of one like Miller or Lamott. I don't want to battle anymore or feel as if I need to defend all the paradoxical elements of myself, I want to just be. More than anything I want to be able to connect fully to myself and faith and through that connection find the healing for wounds that inhibit my life and then enter into my unique calling. I am so tired of waiting and hoping for things I want to live and live well.

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