Thursday, April 29, 2010

Fear (NFTD #19)

My Father asked me this evening what is stopping me from going to Los Angeles...I looked at him eyes saying "Dad" and then spat out "ah money". Yet those words sat in my mouth asking to be mulled over and chewed thoroughly. What is keeping me from Los Angeles? How many years have I been trying to moved? As a friend asked this week in an email "when are you moving down here?"

I am scared. I like to have something, some bit of thread to follow before I step out boldly. Would I have been brave as Peter to walk upon the waves, or would I have asked for Christ to extend his pinky? Is fear the only think that has kept me from moving forward towards calling and destiny and blessing? In my looking down to see where my feet fall do I miss what miraculousness is happening before me? I wonder how many things I have missed out on because I was to scared to enter into the unknown.

And here I stand at a choice, application and GRE aside, am I willing to say yes and move fears and all down to Los Angeles at the end of this summer? To definitatively say YES I AM DOING THIS NO MATTER WHAT! Because it's calling, it's desire, it's faith and this time it will not be silenced. So many of the great stories start with a simple, choice the choice of no matter what. Is this what I will choose? I hope so.

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