Monday, August 23, 2010

on getting older (NFTD #34)

today i have crossed over the bridge and have landed on the right side of thirty. while i know age is well for the most part just how young you feel inside it is also a marker of where you have been. if i wasn't moving in four days i would most likely be marking this transition of age with some body art...leaning heavily towards a tattoo of birds in flight either on my right wrist or left shoulder...but that along with some kind of tree tattoo will have to wait for another time when money isn't so tight. (see above)

for now i have creativity and pondering to mark this transition. what i find most interesting is how little i feel like i am in my thirties. unlike many of my friends i have yet to find my career, partner, or child instead i have three degrees, beautiful friends, many ideas, the freedom to move, and hope for the future. it is so funny to think of where i thought i would be at thirty one, married, successful in something i love, maybe with a child or two. by the time my mother was thirty one she had both my brother ian and myself, had been married to my father for six years, and owned a home. my father at 31 had just meet my mom, had been to vietnam, been married before, and traveled around the country. yet neither of theirs paths are mine and mine is, i am learning with aged wisdom, is the right one for me. as i look out on this new year i see hope and beauty...i am finally moving to the city i have wanted to live in for the last five years, i have found things i love and am working hard to make them a way to support myself, i have scrubbed off much of the baggage that has hindered me from the past, and i believe in the presence of miracles even after one turns twenty three. i'm sure that there will be struggles as well, there already has been, yet i am now looking at them as the means to make things more rich and beautiful instead of just sadistic torture devices. thirty one is going to be a good year no matter what happens.

1 comment:

Shiloh said...

I love how richly developed this thought is! I am excited for your future and where God leads you!