Thursday, September 30, 2010

waiting (NFTPL #4)

This is a week of waiting, waiting for things to come together. It is hard this waiting. I have now been in Los Angeles for a month and yet I have yet to find a job...I have had several interviews and am looking every day for work. I alway forget how hard it is to find a job. This has been true for me ever since I graduated from college before that I never had a problem finding work. The hardest thing with not having a job is that it leaves a sense of limbo, and I don't do well in limbo.

And yet it is good for me to learn how to function with in a state of limbo because we don't always get to have things the way we want them or when we want them. One would think by know that I have if nothing else master this...for years my life has not been what I expected or wanted it to be and yet I still struggle with letting go. I am good if it doesn't have to do with work or if I have enough money in my account to feel safe, then I can let go and go with the flow, but if those aren't in order then I freak out. Trusting is the root of waiting I think, trusting that God is in control and will come through even when it feels as if it won't.

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