Sunday, February 06, 2011
insanity= life (NFTPL #27)
today in church i was called to insanity. seriously our pastor called those of us who were willing to live a life marked by the wildness of God which might be perceived by others as insanity, we even got these really cool leather bracelets! (a little hipster but also uber cool). one of the better quotes of the morning was "I gave m life to God and he drove me crazy" but as he quantified it, that good crazy. while listening to Edwin speak i could feel all the impossible and insane dreams welling up in my soul. old and new hopes and nudges clawing to the light of the surface all shouting "see it can happen...see we can be true".
i am someone who has grown up around wild and impossible stories of things that have come true in spite of how in probable they are, the by product of having many family and friends who are missionaries i guess. i don't remember a time when my life was not somehow permeated with tales of God's wonder and magical provision (for sometimes even as an adult God's showing up looks like magic appearing out of thin air). one set of godparents giving away all the food they had to others in need only to have a bag of groceries appear at the doorstep twenty minutes later. my aunt and uncle being able to get across the border of warring african nations in part because of a batch of chocolate chip cookies, or a family friend from Ethiopian being shot at and having bullet holes in his clothing but not a scratch on his body. i believe that God does incredible things...to and for others. and that is the problem like love and relationships, i hold great hope and faith for their appearance in the lives of those around me but become skeptical and weary of their finding action in my own life. i want miracles i just don't know if it's possible. which is how i come back to this morning...ever since i decided to move to portland last january as a means to get to los angeles God has been making clear paths in a way that has never happened before, things are unrolling in my life that i could not have imagined. this morning as i heard the calling i finally found my heart able to let go of fear enough to say i want this...i want impossible possibilities to flood my life. today i choose to step out in risk and faith to follow the white rabbit down the hole in the believe that there are battles that need to be fought on behalf of others, there are stories that need to be told, and there is beauty hidden that needs to be revealed for the sake of love, Christ and positive change in the world. i want to live my life as one filled to the brim with unexpected wonder and passion...even insanity which allows grace and love and mercy to permeate my life spilling into and on the lives of others.