i can feel the blood beginning to boil and anger growing as we sit in class listening and talking about the bullshit reasons why, mostly men don't allow women to be in leadership. it hurts to be told that it's just a little thing to be able to use gifting...it's the those in power justifiying their power in a means that doesn't allow for any discention. and again like usual even though i am now 1000 miles away from seattle mark driscoll and mars hill church still comes up. it's funny because while so much of the class is shocked and appalled by the statements made i am wounded but expect these shocking statements...it is views like this that make me want to run to artist communities to jump ship. i can't handle these dialogues the pain is so great i want to create images that challenge these assumption but outside of the spaces where these battles are happening.
yet my desire to challenge power structures also moved beyond gender conversations in the church...it moves to places like the middle east and lybia where people are being executed by their government...to institutions that silence and harm the people they are called to serve. seeing photos of people being harmed and literally torn apart by bullets i feel overwhelmed by the weight of power. is the greatest aspect of harm and the root of sin our never ending will to power and the damages that is inflicted upon others because of will to power? i don't want to suffer and i don't want others to suffer be it emotional, spiritual, mental or physically...i want shalom for all the grace and wonder of living onto the whole of who you were created to be and yet the kingdom hasn't come in fullness and therefore things are broken really really broken.