Tuesday, February 01, 2011

a wild choice...

two weeks from tonight one of my favorite bands is playing a two free shows in Las Vegas...and a huge part of me wants to blow off class hop a plane and go to see them play only to turn around go back to the airport and fly back home at 6am the next morning to be back in time for work and school. i have already checked and i can get a flight there and back for super cheap round trip. now the question remains should i? reason says that it would not be a good idea, time or money wise, a waste but experience says that it would be a once in a life time thing and it would push me out of my security in a very good way. i have spent most of my life making wise (sometimes un wise but always in a responsible context) choices. when offered the chance to audition for the second national tour of rent in college I choose to go to class instead. when i had a broken foot and ani difranco tickets i choose to go to the doctors and rest, instead of still attempting to go to the show. very rarely in my life have i chosen to risk doing something wild, crazy and spontainous.

In college I was the one who took care of everyone and would stay with in my drinking limit so I could drive all my drunk friends home a theme that continued on through out my last graduate program and life. So often I choose the "caretaker" role to the detrament of my being able to be my self and expereinces. so i am/was left with a choice to move beyond what i think i should do and take a risk if only to go to a new city and experience that for the sake of my best friend's birthday and seeing a great band. yet in reality the choice isn't even about shiloh's birthday or flying to vegas or free BRMC shows it is about me. i only get this one life to create beauty and offer love, and while making a wild choice could seem like the oppose of those things if i spend my life choosing not to be open and risk then all the life i have is just wasted. what have i to offer others of living in regard to living in the beauty of wild love and extragagant grace if i have not risked and failed and been lavish with my own life. and sometime that choice leads to three days in las vegas...which is what i have chosen

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