is it really a person i want to heal or is it me? i get so far down the path of health and then i find a massive wall. out flies all the dark and wanton voices of evil yelling their tapes of hate, created years ago. even though i know their words are lies and smoke screen misdirections, the arrows and blades still have invisible teeth. i would rather be branded with an end in sight than sit in this massive space of unknown. my deepest heart is the desire to be marked for another...to be sealed for ever with the heart-strings of another. but that is not my path it would be to easy not requiring the growth that i need, so instead i wait until the fateful meeting with love for my branding marks to rise....today here and how i am called to risk and wait. i am called to search and journey...to seek high and low. isn't it funny how the thing that you most desire often is the thing that you most run from? ever since i can remember i have looked to see who's i am. i have spent much of my life prematurely offering my tender heart to those who it was never meant for. now i find myself becoming more of myself and yet still screaming and wailing for the other half....like the platonic view of people; we are separated from our other half and search the world to find it. i have the fool hardy memory of a fish thinking each time around the bowl that it will look different and encounter another. but alas it seems to be the same damn fish bowl. nothing changes even as i change and grow! hope calls me with her tender whisper saying it's coming...you're coming to the place of vibrancy, where your chosen one will shine.
my heart is filled with curiosities about your history and journeys...so many words and inquisitors roll around my tongue. but i must admit i want to not only heal but to become a muse to your creative spirit. to be the cause of the instigation of your entrance into your call again. but more that i want to inspire beauty that is hidden in you the gentleness beyond the verbose and outrageous. already you and the packs art and presence have caught my wanton spirit driving her back to the studio...for birthing creative acts is what breaths ruach and life. and being the earth-mother that i am, i want to spill that creative breath onto you to grow creative life in you.