Saturday, May 07, 2011

the thing about answers....

today we received the final say from the band we have been speaking with for the last three month in regard to a video project we created and was a no with a nice caveat of please keep in touch for the possibility of working on other projects. so finally after three months of creation, stress, prayer, hope, doubt, and all the other swirling emotions, shiloh and i have an answer. now we move forward, our incredibly talented friend is going to allow us to use his music as the soundtrack to this video (soon we will be posting a link to where you can view our baby), and we will move on to the next project. so we shot for the moon and our aim ended up being a little bit off time we will make a point of getting a better aim before we pull the trigger. as we both keep reminding ourselves the fact that we finished the project and got this far with the band, this being our first foray into film and videos, is pretty incredible. ever since we began this process people and opportunities have just been appearing...if this is what was needed to kick things into gear then, awesome i'm ready to jump off the cliff again!

here's the thing that i have been mulling over all day long in my futile attempts to process my emotions about the band's response while simultaneously celebrating one of my "moms", while there is absolutely something that sucks massively about getting a answer that isn't the one you were hoping for there is also blessing in having that finality. let me explain, i have had several relationships that were major relationships that for one reason or another just ended without a clear break to them...leaving me with many aspects and things unsaid. having all of that unstated and dealt with baggage made it harder to move beyond those relationships. this is because to heal i have to create a finality to them and create a resolution where none was and so it took a lot longer for me to be able to heal. that is one of the best things about answers, getting one allows the healing to happen. besides the stubborn part of me is like ok how do we create something to blow their socks off next time? how do we make something that impresses someone who grew up around film and has a very specific eye while still bring our unique view and perspective to the project. it's my "damn it i'm good, just give me a freakin' chance" response.

as i look back at this process and forward to others i realize how lucky and blessed i am to do this now....for years i have wanted to create in various forms and now finally the elements that needed to come together in and outside my life have. dreams and visions i have had for over ten years have become
a reality, and that is the real answer the one to long ago prayers and questions.

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