as i have said i before i have spent most of my life battling and fighting with my body and that this year is one of the first times in my life where i have started to have a healthy relationship with my body. because in spite of the battle i am so intrinsically bound to my body and bodiedness. i encounter the world via body and when i encounter the spiritual world i do so in my physical body. for example while driving to school today there was a truck that had run off the road...something in that sight triggered my mom's accident for me and for a brief moment i lost the ability to breath, or take my intuitive sense of knowing something...i know when something is true because i can physically feel the truth in my guts and through my chakra core.
last night was another movement in that direction...while taking a break from studying for my final and processing some chaotic emotional dynamics last night i decided to take some photos of my body. having grown up around photographers i have a very mixed relationship with cameras. i love well done photography and am very intrigued with images of bodies and form. i love well done nude and body photographs. yet when it comes to myself the idea of photos, let alone a nude or partial nude photos of myself scares the shit out of me. but i am also drawn like a moth to a flame to the idea of having well done and artistic nude photographs taken of me. as a painter i have always had this dream of dating another painter and painting pictures of each other naked or painting each other...
so last night i decided to try and take some photos a) to break the fear b) to see how they would look. so i did...i took photos of myself that, while artistic were nude. it was such a freeing experience because it was just a form of exploration for myself of embracing my body...i wasn't doing for anyone else or to gain attention but to explore my own beauty and self acceptance. also it was a learning experience as a photographer...to see what i could do playing with the light and camera in my room in the late hours of night.
this playful time of self acceptance couldn't have happened without the words and action and care of several people...hopefully you know who you are...thank you.