a white hot rage floods my brain, the anger of so many things unsaid and thoughts just simmering in the mind. i want to cry and break plates, shatter glasses and throw paint...the psychotic generational chaos sits like a wanton angel in the corners of my mind. the threat of mental instability quickens my heart shooting tremors of fear through potentially tainted veins. once again to young and alone to deal with all of these grown up things, being asked to make decisions beyond my experiences and pay grade. doubt and fear are playing craps in the alley with self destruction, each cackling over what they will do with my lucky won soul. hope and promise step in ruining their fun...yet anger still sits like a bird on my chest. she shoots blues and white phoenix feathers in all directions...she calls me to create to write to do something so that i will not burst in to flames or let the chaos of the mind-fuck so often called my brain take that last wild ride over the edge into utter madness.