Tuesday, September 06, 2011

chat leading to a good ass-kicking (NFTPL #58)

i love my dear best friend because she puts up with me in so many ways and is patient with my cycles of emotional chaos.  she also holds up mirrors for me when i am unable to see the reality of my life and reminds me that i am loved and talented.

tonight what started out as a conversation about life became a good kick in the ass for me. the result being that she challenged me to decide what i really want out of life, what i really want to do whether or not she is going down that same path. i am now left to figure out options; like changing programs and schools, getting a new job, working multiple jobs or staying where i am at...there are so many paths once again. well actually they are always there just sometimes it's harder to see them.

 here is a list of things that i do know: i love music especially live music, talking with people/interviewing people about their art, i love being a part of a community of artists who create and support each other, i like making film and the visual medium of images and stories, i love the visualization and emotive properties of film and music, i want to travel, i would love to tour with a band, i want to learn how to shoot film and take better pictures, i do not want to work at a church or any religious institution, i do want to work with artists, i do want to create...the list goes on and on.

so tonight i revel in the fact that i get to figure it all out, not on my own but with the support of people who love me. revel in the reality that i started three paintings today, i am working on two film projects currently, and looking back through my photos from the last year, i realize that i am capable of taking good photographs i just need to practice and learn more.

there are so many wonderful things already present in my life and so many wonderful things waiting to still be birthed. i don't know what the future holds but i do know that i don't want to waste any more time not doing what i love.

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