Sunday, September 11, 2011

dreamy days

feeling antsy and restless these days. often i get overwhelmed with the desire to hop a plane and create some wild adventure for myself but i have obligations and commitments to fulfill. given the chance i would ride on a tour bus and do whatever was need to travel with a band and see the world from that unique level.  i stare at the half finished painting on my desk, the paint brushes and newly acquired pigments dreaming of new expressions of life. they keys of the computer call me to tell secrets and stories, releasing them into the netherworld of the interweb. my guitar and voice long for the fusion of singing with another in a room. the act of recording and creating music.

but i freeze up, i curl up in my bed and read stories of women seeking love and life. of the messiness of casual heartbreak and the drive that moves one beyond the monotony of the day to day. i live moment to moment and want a wild passion to take control. to fly on waves and surf on the clouds and dance with the angels in the presence of the evil and remain untouched by the darkness. so much of this life of mine has been a waiting, waiting to actually step into life. is sitting here in my room hot and cold covered in the half sided breeze of the airconditioning i wonder how this is vividness. i know i search for the mountain top instead of being content in the valley. i see the greener grass and don't always offer thanks for what i have been offered. yet i still want the dazzling and glittering life of self constructed daydreams. i want more wild nights and unexpected days.

the ocean calls longingly to me, sunset blvd echos her wanton call, the heart beat of the city stirs in my chest and i see a fellow traveler a partner in adventures.

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