Sunday, September 18, 2011

musings (NFTPL # random insert)

the wild dogs are howling in the street outside my window. their mournful cries echo my quandary state. these happy days of celebration always send me into a tailspin of introspection. the desire to play princess seems so very foreign to me like a letter written in chinese. some part of my swissed cheesed brain knows that i should be able to read and decipher the text but for whatever reason nothing wants to play. weddings and babies and traditional life...the ability to have a relationship for longer than two months. these are simple things that seem utterly impossible in the day to day life i live.

wandering seeker, i never seem to feel satisfied. there is always something missing or need just beyond the horizon. there are moments when i wonder if my ever present wanderlust could ever be filled enough to not need another hit of the exciting and dramatically thrilling. even when still and present, i have a overwhelming sense of movement. exteriorlly i know i seem stable and grounded a rock rooted and weighted, yet there burns this steady white hot fire deep with in the core of my being. traveling, moving, exploring, always watchful for the new and the need to create more experience more become more know more. and the dogs are calling. they speak a language i have yet to understand. they call my animal heart to remember and trust and find what's true

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