the moon is almost full, pregnant in the end of her cycle. this is the time where emotions take over and through things all out of whack. you're on my mind's eye seared with full moons, wild nights, and music always music. the "you's" of my various loves and incarnations and haunting me tonight. they sit there in a row as i silently beg the greatness for a new more solid lover. i want but do not need another, i know how to be alone. but togetherness, relationships these are things that are harder for me to grasp. to actually know another person in more ways than one...allowing them to penetrate both body and soul. that my friend is a whole other matter. it seems like the impossible possibility, a mythical creature which is whispered to you by dear friends in cars late at night or dark vampericly lit bars, or over dinner and sisterly conversations. even when it has become a momentary reality it does not seem to feel real. i look at the brightly shot sky and dream of a day when the bed beside me will be filled with a person instead of discarded blankets and pillows is such an oddity now. but that is the way of these things what seems the a mirage suddenly one day is a oasis filled with cool waters.