Tuesday, September 06, 2011

wrestling with the covers

wrestling with thoughts and ideas and changes leads to rolling and tossing and turning...insomnia returns with the weight of to many things to do and i can't sleep. should be thankful that this is no longer a weekly or monthly occurrence or that at least these days i have the good sense to get up and be productive instead of laying there praying to God for sleep. so it's past 2am and here i sit listening to music and starting at a computer screen. while i pause a moment, two ideas cross my mind first lyrics from the song playing "it's a long, long way down" and second the realization that i moved beyond stuck. instead of stress i chose to get up to hit up contacts and move forward with current projects. with each step i take towards freedom and health i move forward out of the pits and holes i often feel lost in. alice may still follow the white rabbit but she has enough sense to have an escape route this time.

fear is conquered with each step towards what used to paralyze me in my tracks. if i am scare of success i need to keep moving toward desire instead of away from it. embrace the impossibility and believe that it is possible even though i can't see how. hop back on the bike and learn to blaze trails on a motorcycle, jump off cliff and out of planes, be open and trust in the talents and beauty which already are alive in this person.  as i type yawns take over, sleep comes back to play.....

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