like a see-saw my heart jumps back and forth over faith and desire. often they seem unable to sit together in the same space and then something comes shooting across the line like a spitfire. all ruckus and dust reminding me that what is impossible is often made possible. two elements which seem to be in conflict yet actually meet and fuse together like a unique pairing of metals in the welders fire. gifts of unexpected grace and opportunity are scattered across the dusty road of my life and yet if one doesn't appear or i have to stop for a breath the tension rises and i feel my self waiting for the sky to fall. what little faith i have in trusting that this clay vessel of a life is meant for goodness. that whatever is in charge of the whole of creation, God as God is, desires all for the glory. that which is and always was and always will be, intimately entangled in our bug-like lives. if so then desire and faith two sides to my warring heart not in battle but rather dancing together trying to figure out how to lead. a choreography day by day following the movements of my love and need.