Academic Artist seeking to better understand life, culture, and religion through various rabbit holes
Monday, October 17, 2011
We, you and I, were to broken souls searching for a better half, a savior. For a few moments in time on a hotel bed we each thought we had found the solution. In my heart I knew better than that, the truth that an other's love is only a part and never the whole. I got lost in caring and in turn you got board with the reality of it all. Like a chip of a glacier, whatever it was between the two of us melted away. Foolishly I try to hold it together in my incomplete hands willing what is dead back to life. There are days when I want to roll back time like an ocean tide to start over again with the purity of renewed sand. I run circles of "if onlys" back and forth in my mind trying to find a way for it not to have landed on this out come. A romantic choose your own adventure, if you can just pick the right storyline and dialogue then we could be offered a better alternative ending. Yet I was always shit with those books forever falling to my death or getting bitten by the cobra. Ich liebe dich and knowing that often that isn't enough to keep a relationship going. Those moments were all that our relational cocktail was allotted, no more refills for it was last call. Salvation needs to come from another too much baggage too many holes to be filled.