Thursday, November 03, 2011

little by little with my small hands

how does the call of social justice, artistic expression, and faith weave together to create the tapestry of a life? each feels like it's call is all consuming, demanding everything...those higher up in one have the luxury of combinations but for me the poor graduate student with looming student loans the fusion seems impossible. there must be mentors and those further on the journey that can lend light and guidance...stand as fortifications and bulwarks when the terror sets in. that terror that eats at my mind when i am laying alone in the dark wondering how in the world i will be able to live and have space to create.

yet a marked heart cannot separate those things which call and scream of it's needs... those desires that i cannot escape. it's no ordinary life of houses, salaries, and new cars for me...it may not be phds and educational institutions or tour buses and protest marches but my life will be something unique and binding.   today i was called by the earth, land, and social justice by the harm of not dealing with sexuality and embodiedness. i can't escape into a world where i turn a blind eye to slavery, the buying and selling of people, abusing the land and nature, physical violence and domestic abuse, and the harming that happens so often when people receive power. the rocks and ground cry out when the voices of people are silenced. the whole of creation screams because of the abusive harm happening every day.

i don't know much and it all seems so overwhelming, as it should says the wise old woman, yet little steps day by day bring about change. so i must trust in the opportunities and the process instead of allowing the weight of needs to stop my efforts as small as they maybe.


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