I watched you on a movie screen tonight in a crowded theatre, they even got the soundtrack and self centered despair tempered with guilt and regret right. It wasn't you it was an actor playing a character...but there were moments when I swear to God I saw you. Stalked via art and grief and life, I start to wonder when the tears and the shaking will stop. That weighty realization that I might have fallen in love, pulls down like a millstone dragging me into an uncharted ocean. What I want is impossible, stupid and foolish. The wagon is filled with voices all saying something different, calling out various futures for my little life. Yet all that I see is images snapshots of you, cinematic and real. They haunt and inspire me and offer a cathartic space to process.