Sunday, February 05, 2012

lost again

Where did she go the fearless child that I used to be? The one who with all boldness would go up to strangers and woo them with her sparkling charm. Questions and curiosities poured out of her mouth in a unstoppable torrent. Along the way she got lost and in her place a timid girl who walks on egg shells and has bound the wildness and fire in a deeply hidden box. This new girl she bends and bows to all who steal her heart. Affection and love are so lacking in her daily intake that she feel she must "earn" the crumbs thrown off the table in disregard. Around her women, girls, they are well fed there is no need for them to seek, these needed nourishments appear consistently and when needed.

Did the wild child shrivel up and die which lead to the lack of care or did the neglect lead to her closing inward to save the tiny bit of her that burns still brightly? I can't figure this damned riddle out...the proximity is too close and my vision to myopic to understand. I understand in ache and need and unmet desire. That ghost of this is what should be and why didn't you do this. I wish for the rewind to go back to moments when I would have stood boldly in all my scars and beauty completely naked, I would say take me take this I don't care what the repercussions are just please don't ignore me any longer. 

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