sometimes you just need the touch of naked skin against yours. kisses from one who understand intuitively the perfect way in which you desire to be kissed. there are nights when alone just won't cut it at all, the hands are not as strong as the desire to be had...chocolate, cigarettes and alcohol are illusionary stays that have long lost their power. and the need is so great that it terrorizes you with a ever present onslaught of the most vivid and erotic dreams. you play scene of past lovers over again just to fix the out come because somewhere back there you got lost while playing it safe. on couches and hotel beds you held back because of that damned fear of repercussions not realizing that the repercussions of not were way worst than those of action. if could i would take back that night where i sat passively waiting like the maiden for that lover to woo me, instead like the vixen i would instead have stripped and boldly walked filling his frame of view like guinevere. and that other who i taunted so i would and should have shown him my treasure of gold. all those stories may still have ended the same but at least i would not hold regret like a cold flame.