Sunday, June 24, 2012

thankful...

I often forget to thank God for the blessing of friends...tonight was a reminder of that blessing. While on a smoke break during one of the two shows I went to this evening, I got to have a great chat with my friend Jen. Speaking with someone who understands your situation is like water on parched ground...you don't always need to speak because so much of what is being said needs no clarification. Yet tonight I am so very thankful for that space of understanding what is terribly hard to articulate and explain...and for her friendship in general.

Saturday, June 09, 2012

.....

love and fear run down the center of my heart...just when i think i have a hold of one the other takes over and begins throwing everything off balance. i want so badly to be over run with love and compassion, to believe and live so wildly in truth that fear can on longer wrap her dark wet sticky fingers around my heart. i need a repellent something to finally keep her at bay...to find rest in a solid space.

love on the other hand likes to take the piss out, silently sneaking up behind and biting me unexpectedly in the heart. she toys with my feeble groundings and recalls truths and heartaches that i do not want to revisit. she allows jealousy to come and play just for fun in the most awkward of spaces. why can't she just be kind? bring a worthy lover and call it a day a life and year?