i feel the absence in my bones and on the other side of the bed. it's been to long and i find i am lost again in the impossibility of it all. so i ignore the mounting needs and desires, plodding forward trying to figure out how to live alone. it's not to hard really which is the worst of it. i'm prone to being hidden like a beauty in the tower lost and trapped away from the world. it's the coming out or allowing someone in that's the struggle, making room for another in the crazy land of me. coated in summer night's heat sticky and wet i wish to lay naked and exploring with another in the heat of a soft bed. alas none has been found who can fill that space, so i sip cool water and close my eyes to get lost in a lover found only in my head.