Sunday, September 30, 2012

a broken thing...

i feel like a broken thing. a china doll that has been cracked deep within. seemingly so strong and yet so fragile. there are days when i feel as if maybe i can conquer the world and over come all the chaos that swirls around my brain...and then comes a day like today where even the smallest of tasks seems insurmountable. on these the dark days i sit stuck for hours with piles of work that i want so badly to do and can't. and those lovely things of life like friends, love, sex, art, music, and everything else that bring the vividness of technicolor to the day to day can also send this alice down the rabbit-hole. a missed called, a forgotten curtsey curtisey on the wrong day and the fragility of my mind get's shattered into a million little pieces of darker reality. i hate these demon days that rape my productivity and creative motivation. 

Monday, September 03, 2012

"I want you so much but I hate your guts" Daughter "Landfill"

this is the feeling after the first one walks away. disappearing into the sunset without so much as a wave. she stands there watching long after he has fallen away, wondering why they all leave quickly that way. i'm the common factor she says it must be me and racks her brain for that elusive and fleeting thing. the one that turns the heart on a dime and causes all men to walk out faster than a two-step time. like the mat that no one wishes her to be, she stands heart in a bowtie box ready to hand off if he were to return...something she know's will never be. still she wants him and hates him with each quickening heart beat.